The others are impressed so the Cuban takes out one of the finest havana cigars, takes one puff and throws it off the train and says ‘theres plenty more of those where i come from’.
Again everyone is rather impressed so the Englishman stands up and throws the Pakistani off the train…..
Little Johnny replies, “Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?
The Teacher says, “Of course not Johnny,
To which Johnny replies, “Then I have definitely s**t my pants”.
The barman screams at the man, “Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table — whole!”
“Sorry,” replied the man. “He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I’ll pay for everything.”
The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.
Two weeks later, he’s in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his arse, pulls it out and eats it.
The barman is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey just did ?” he asks.
“Yeah,” replies the man. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first.”