Theres a Russian, a Cuban, an Englishman and a Pakistani on a train, the Russian takes out a bottle of his best vodka, drinks a bit and throws the rest off the train and says ‘theres plenty more of that where i come from’.
The others are impressed so the Cuban takes out one of the finest havana cigars, takes one puff and throws it off the train and says ‘theres plenty more of those where i come from’.
Again everyone is rather impressed so the Englishman stands up and throws the Pakistani off the train…..
I’ve heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children’s-oriented iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.
The teacher asked little Johnny to use the word ” definitely ” in a sentence
Little Johnny replies, “Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?
The Teacher says, “Of course not Johnny,
To which Johnny replies, “Then I have definitely s**t my pants”.
I was having as meal in a chinese restaurant, and didn’t much like the chicken I’d been served, so I called the waiter over and said, “this chicken is rubbery”, to which he replied, Ah fan you velly mush!!
A man walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he’s drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a pool ball.
The barman screams at the man, “Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table — whole!”
“Sorry,” replied the man. “He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I’ll pay for everything.”
The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.
Two weeks later, he’s in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his arse, pulls it out and eats it.
The barman is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey just did ?” he asks.
“Yeah,” replies the man. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first.”
hehe, i told you they were silly!
It seems inbetween two hard drives carking it, i lost my photos of Capri and Singapore, drat,drat double drat!!!
But apparently they should be recoverable somehow, i just need a computer geek to search and find them. So in their absence i have found some off the net to share with you of this tiny island off Sorrento Italy, with its tiny beaches, we had a laugh when the beach was pointed out to us, we both said “where? there’s no beach!” But its still a gorgeous place we had a lovely boat ride around half of it and walked over from one side to another, geeting a glimpse through gates of the residences and resorts along the way.
Main port, where the ferries arrive, its so pretty
On the other side of the island some lovely resorts tucked into coves
The grottos were amazing, the water so clear, and the boat we did our trip on was exactly like this one,
It is a beautiful little island, we were fortunate it wasnt too crowded and found a great local place to eat, some locals were a bit offhand, and had the fed up with tourists look! The boat tour operator was our “guide” who was very helpful to us.
following photos by dogmouth.net
These are fantastic photographs
This is for anyone stuck for ideas of giving this christmas, you could try this and you could save a life
these actually look like red cordial but probably photograph better than real blood!
Summer has hit, its hot and humid even though its still only spring officially!
The flowers are bloomin’ and the grass is growin’!
We have had the Noosa Triathalon come and go, a few casualties due to our tropical weather that the southerners are not used to, silly buggers run themselves dry, overheat and fall over unconscious!
Spring racing in Melbourne in full swing, the finish had us all guessing for a few minutes as to who actually won and SJP has graced our shores and presented the cup for oaks day, she’s looking a bit thin and rakey, a bit like the race contenders! equine that is!
But it is great weather for swimming so that’s what im going to do to try to stop my body crumbling before my eyes!