what the?

 this was sent to me by my longtime friend Michelle, its a cracker ! Thanks for the laugh!

Actual writings in Hospital Register

1. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only
A 11kgs weight gain in the past three days.

5… She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was
Very hot in bed last night.

6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

7. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
Disappeared.

8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
Depressed.

9. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

10. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but
Forgetful.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. She is numb from her toes down.

14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

15. The skin was moist and dry.

16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until
She got a divorce.

20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
Therapy.

21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

22. The patient refused autopsy.

23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

26. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

27. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities

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